Phermoans

Hypo...

Jesus...I read a few guides on hypomania and I start falling into the "yeah I'm really bipolar" crowd! "they tend to overestimate their capabilities and fail to see the obvious risks involved in their ventures....Other forms of less inhibited behavior include reckless driving, gambling, spending sprees and sexual adventures. They may also have lots of new ideas but do not follow them through. They are often very jolly to be with but can become impatient if they cannot do what they want." Enter site
Did I mention spending sprees? Oh god, I can't control my spending habits. I'm an expert at justifying buying a Plasma TV on a Walkman budget. Substance abuse...well I'm in recovery and have been this time for 10 years. Thank god I don't have that nightmare to deal with.
I just don't know how to finally feel about all of this. I'm sure it's not life threatening (if I stay on the meds). I don't like the medication intake, not at all. I'd like one more test with nothing chemical in my head and see what happens. This is what my psychiatrist is afraid of. BTW...have you ever been to a psychiatrist? Where's the love? Where's the comfort?
"How are you?"
"How are doing with the medication?"
"Are you still being compliant?"
"Okay, let's increase your Welbutrin 150 mg and that will increase your energy."
"Have a nice week! Come back in a month!"
Here's another little article from this site
"...various mood states in manic-depressive illness are often thought of as a spectrum of continuous range. At one end is severe depression (yes), which flows into moderate depression (yes). Next come mild, brief mood disturbances that many people call "the blues" then a normal mood (yes). As the pendulum of mood swings the other way, the person experiences mild mania (hypomania) and then full BLOWN mania. (Still in denial about this even though I was in the psych ward twice in a 5 week period) However, the transitions from one stage or phase of mood state to the next are not always smooth, complete, and/or identifiable. (No shit)
Okay, given all that, why not have fun with this crap?! I think I'm on the upward swing so I am curious to see what happens in the next few days or weeks.

posted by Pher @ 1:58 PM